Once I was striving for a life that I saw portrayed before me

However

As the time moved the dream got bigger

And I learned the lessons that many learned much later

I could do without this illusion called life

Its cold and the shadow falls and you are trapped within a reality that was never meant to be real

Seeing the picture on the faces of the those who believed 

In a situation that only exist within this realm of reality

Opening your mind

My life if that is what you want to call it

Had its limits and I could not soar as I wanted to soar

So I learnt to 

Disappear

Failure is something of an enigma

A handsome face

A peaceful evening reading or writing 

Then we are alone

This thing called life is funny that way

Once there was a girl who lived her life 

This girl you see lived her life in the shadow of those people before her

Then one day she woke up and the sun wasn’t shining

What we all have in common is nothing major 

Just the life the dictators tells us we have to strive for

1975 was a horrible year

The year that open the flood gates to indecent sadness

Heartache and helplessness

People smiling and pretending to be content 

When in actuality they are going nowhere

I alone sit staring with no expression

Dreading tomorrow

Silence is a welcoming friend

No judgement no sarcasm 

Their faces are covered with red tears as they all try to hide their sorrows 

Sorrow comes in and sits down 

We talk and contemplate the children

Laughing unbothered

My spirit is nervous unbroken

I can’t find the answers to the lessons 

The ones from my youth

The ones that haunt me 

Its funny

We all are given the gift of uniqueness 

Instead 

A madman laughs in the distance 

And the rest hide in the shadows

While we pretend