Making decisions for a person that is out of their mind is an interesting process

They see things outside of the box

They consult the other voices living in their head

For the sake of argument let’s call the voices OCD

Not cleaning a lot or asymmetrically living

No 

OCD

OCD the voices in my head

Talk to me

They make me doubt

They make me fear and regret

Wait I am getting off track

David told me I need to be normal

Because he is considered in his right mind

So he is right

My world the world of crazy

Abnormality is the norm

Most of my life like every other crazy person that I happen to know

Has been a shit show of trying to be someone I definitely not

Trying to fit in with the “normal” people 

Those people that show the world that they are perfect when it is not

Life through my eyes

Through the eyes of a crazy person after realizing that I can never be normal

Became

Free

I have a podcast where I talk about my life as a person who is medically diagnosed as  insane

Seriously 

Its truth

I am not sure if I am helping people but for me it is 

Freedom

I like my mind

My broken abnormal thoughts are entertaining

I don’t want to be like David anymore

You know the people who believe they are the ones that’s normal 

When normal is just a notion created by insane people

I like my freedom

I like not pretending and being able to be my authentic self

Sure people call me crazy 

Weird and that’s okay if that’s the price I must pay

Truthfully I have enough shit to worry about 

Life is no longer one of them

I have a new past time

but in all actuality the past time is rather old

I have been doing something so taboo that people

in the church that I belong to if I didn’t half ass attend it

would be appalled

It happen suddenly this new activity that I find myself becoming obessed with to the point where my body calls at me to do it not once a day

Multiple times a day

I feel confident about

I can’t get a disease except for the ones that I already have

and

I am learning myself

I would recommend this past time to anyone who have messed up feelings about themselves because once you do it and you feel the intensity of the moment

you can’t help but fall in love

I did it and I liked it

I did it again and now I am a pro

I love myself more than I have loved anyone else

which is specifically how it should be

anyway I will leave you on that note

All night I stare at the ceiling in the darkness hoping I am not once again losing my mind

People don’t understand what its like to have the constant noise and chatter inside their heads like me that amplifies at night so I can’t sleep…I am nothing but someone who tries to fit in that someone who hides the fucked up shit inside always trying to do the right thing even though the right thing to do is unclear. My mind flashes to people around me and I am convince that they are out to kill me so I check the door and window locks repeatedly I admit I am a little paranoid…I know that if I share this with them they will think there is something wrong with me but truthfully I think I am losing my mind…no one hears my cries their words get in the way making me the center of their universe and the point is I can’t take much more of this I think I am having another breakdown

So trying for me…to be normal is the only option but there’s no such thing as normal… but let’s not go there… because being locked up again is my ultimate fear….when they speak it’s a whisper it’s hard for me to pay attention, all I hear is riddles telling me that they are coming for me

this is the edited interpretation the original one is fucking messy which says so much but I won’t go there

Just confirmation that my mind is out to destroy me….but I will keep that to myself

Trying to make you believe I am not crazy…being phoney as hell

Coming to turns with who I am means I have to leave everything I know to be true BEHIND…but its comfort in the anxiety, depression and panic so I continue to hold on dragging this shit around wondering why my mind treats me like it do…keeping me caught up in the pain… I guess some things don’t work out like we want them too…I am just a little unwell

I am trapped in madness

Drowning if you will

The shore is dark

The surrounding cold

And the people

Well

There human

Enough said

Are you insane or do you know someone who is insane

Not an addict or someone with fleeting emotional problems

If you don’t know a person as above described then you have no idea what you are missing out on

For example

In the mind of a person that is insane 

Right is wrong

Wrong is right

Freedom

Making decisions for a person that is out of their mind is an interesting process

They see things outside of the box

They consult the other voices living in their head

For the sake of argument let’s call the voices OCD

Not cleaning a lot or asymmetrically living

No 

OCD

OCD the voices in my head

Talk to me

They make me doubt

They make me fear and regret

Wait I am getting off track

David told me I need to be normal

Because he is considered in his right mind

So he is right

My world the world of crazy

Abnormality is the norm

Most of my life like every other crazy person that I happen to know

Has been a shit show of trying to be someone I definitely not

Trying to fit in with the “normal” people 

Those people that show the world that they are perfect when it is not

Life through my eyes

Through the eyes of a crazy person after realizing that I can never be normal

Became

Free

I have a podcast where I talk about my life as a person who is medically diagnosed as  insane

Seriously 

Its truth

I am not sure if I am helping people but for me it is 

Freedom

I like my mind

My broken abnormal thoughts are entertaining

I don’t want to be like David anymore

You know the people who believe they are the ones that’s normal 

When normal is just a notion created by insane people

I like my freedom

I like not pretending and being able to be my authentic self

Sure people call me crazy 

Weird and that’s okay if that’s the price I must pay

Truthfully I have enough shit to worry about 

Life is no longer one of them

I started this journey years ago 

Its meaningless however there is some type of logic to it

When I found my way along the bank of insanity 

Mental retardation

I miss you 

I love you

Sometimes I can’t understand why people think it is alright to 

A

Live a lie

Meaning 

When you deny your desires 

Your ambition 

What makes a spade a spade

Life is so full of chaotic

Endeavors

So I started this journey years ago

A journey of self discovery 

Self acceptance

Self appreciation 

And 

Self love

B

Robert gave Anna a ring and they got married

Robert went to work 

Robert came home

And Anna screwed every available man while he was away

Who was right and who was wrong

C

In the land of milk and honey lived a man who 

Masturbated a lot

Laugh

Out

Loud

I started this journey years ago 

I got lost from time to time

Blindly followed what I thought was a good thing

Then I was barricaded in my house afraid to go anywhere

He is out there

The voices got louder

Then they was silence

Today I am still on that journey I started years ago

Looking for myself in the things I use to believe

However today 

Nothing is as simple

As 

It 

Seems

To Be

I have bad insomnia….. I tried everything

Works for a day or two and then I can’t sleep again